Wednesday, July 8, 2009
thought i would do some work and play some games when i get home today after a tiring day at work.
but no. i just sit here and have no interest whatsoever in doing anything. perhaps i should have gone for mass.
so yeah. omg. i dunno man, it just feels a bit weird. weird to just stop doing anything when there's so much to do and just stone. or sleep early. i've been sleeping v early these few days because I am just so tired, and more so because I don't feel like doing anything.
i feel this emptiness once again. its not burnout i know, and i also know i can't be doing ministry admin work everyday non-stop. such a break is nice, but with the thoughts going through my head again and again, it isn't much of a break.
perhaps its because i have no one to talk to. no one is interested in the nitty gritty things in my life anymore and perhaps i haven't gotten use to this aspect of my life yet. been thinking about how everything ended, but i still maintain the fact that it would not have lasted anyway. for someone who never placed me right at the top, think i would be better off loving myself instead. however much i look forward to affection, i know that i will not be able to take another blow. so God I plead to you that there'll only be one more r/ship in my life and that would be to marriage. thank You.
i still like the peace in my life though. =)
6:06 AM