Sunday, June 21, 2009
As events in my life moves slowly into a snail pace before it picks up again, I find myself with more time to think - usually a bad thing haha. The spiritual bombardment before confirmation camp did a great job to my own thinking and way of life; i feel much happier now with a renewed belief in God and His works. For the past week of masses that I've attended, I prayed for one thing - to heal me of my feelings of loneliness. It struck me once more that I'm alone again in this journey of life and hence I'm clinging so much to God and to His people in church. It doesn't help that I am constantly reminded of how dear Felly was to me and that she was the one taken away from me. I miss that company and perhaps just someone who's concerned about how I am doing from day to day. But I guess I got used to it - checking my phone and seeing no messages unread, not having to say goodnight to someone before I sleep and worrying about whether someone is feeling ok. I re-enter the carefree phase of my life but I continue to pile worries on myself so as to remain relevant in this lonely world - perhaps drowning myself once again to ignore the fact that I'm feeling lonely.
well but im still leading a happy life. praise God!
3:06 AM