Friday, May 15, 2009
somehow my dad, staff sim and father brian frowns the same way. and its these frowns that just spoil my day. getting stressed from all sides.
i haven't touched my ACCA for a week
i need to settle aunt teresa's air ticket
i need to settle the fucked up photo studio album
i need to plan 50th anniversary double sundays programme
i need to plan for DYD
i need to liaise for con camp
i need to apply leave
i need to do my stuff in NS (which contains a fucking lot of stuff that i can't say)
i need to help my community, and be a community member to others
i need to liaise with so many people
i need to live my life properly
its so fucked up
was at mass just now. was very touched by the story father bosko talked about. the love that he described. i told myself, perhaps thats my answer. to dispel all that hatred and anger into love. but i look up to the cross and said, "Jesus, I can't do it, your standard is so so high".
I am very tired already. really very very tired. im depressed. i shoulder so much burden and my support left me. so what the fuck am i supposed to do with my life? God, can you please tell me? Im sick of hearing the answer to pray and cling onto that hope because really, i cannot feed on it anymore. i really need to live. its like telling a starving person to just cling onto hope and not give him food. i really can't fucking believe this is happening to me. i can't find it. i really can't.
7:21 AM