Thursday, May 7, 2009
i woke up this morning later than usual, because im on off. but i dunno how i suddenly remembered a lot of things that have happened to me, and perhaps i did lose a lot of things that i did not want to. friendships especially. still rmb the time when the announcement for council came via yanheng, i was really happy i got in and wanchee too. we shook each others hands and looked at each other, feeling happy that we both got in. that friendship, is probably gone forever. now its more than 3 years down the road but that scene seems like it only happened last week. i have a big problem cause i have near photographic memory. and the memories i don't want to keep are the ones that are so vividly clear to me. and yeah, i rmb every scene that night. two days after that night, i lost a fren. somehow the scene was played out again this year, and sitting at starbucks, i just felt deja vu. it was again a matter of me giving my all, yet fell short of being loved. perhaps im just that unloveable. this time around, i lost even more i think. having neglected so many frens throughout the past year, i find myself once again trying to rebuild the frenships and to be part of their lives again. had this stray thought about, if i were to go for singapore idol, who would be there as my cheerleading group? thinking bout it, its depressing. no man is an island, but i only realise after one year that i've been digging a moat around me.
6:49 PM