Monday, August 25, 2008
hello im back to blogging!
locked it up for a while, but also never post haha, now suddenly have the feeling to pen(type) my thoughts down.
so many things happened, and im pretty much bogged down by life. though i stay out, i have night lessons every mon, tue and thurs, making me really tired by the end of the week. got so many things to say so its gonna be a super long post.
life outside raffles
After leaving jc, i feel pretty different. there was this discussion with yj that made me see a lot of the world after being stuck with raffles for 6 years. we concluded that after enlisting, we became more elitist. don't get me wrong here, i am completely not perpetuating elitism, just expressing my thoughts. so basically, we have been working like how we always do over the past 6 years, thinking or at least i do, that it is the norm to do it that way. perhaps the way of thinking, way of planning and rationalising. then when we really reach the world where we meet all walks of life, i see that it requires a lot more effort to make people think your way, wrong wavelength i would describe it as. i must really emphasize that i have no intent of offending anyone, and pls i beg you don't view me as an elitist, lest i suffer the same fate as someone we all know =) so it gets quite pek chek when you know, things don't get done too quickly because more time is spent on reaching a consensus. i experienced it in jc, pw already. its not that im not hardworking, just that pw is just too structured. wad happened to the ri-style of doing research then reports and stuff. do u actually go do the PI and all in a real project style? perhaps you do but its only a thought process and you go straight to your product. all the structure teaches the thought processes, but don't exactly calls for the need to be examinate each portion of the process.
then i reach ACCA classes. which is sometimes a bore because what can be taught in an hour or so is stretched to three hours - though i can't generalise coz some lessons really need that long.. but it caters to everyone, some students from China who struggle with english in the first place. hence i understand the need to move slowly, but it gets on my nerves when the teacher really goes too slow. just perhaps, the ri-style of teaching was the best, it taps on the quicker thought process of its students and it moves on, focusing more on the applications and the challenging questions rather than its basics. rj, especially math, was super boring because they really go too slow - in my honest opinion, perhaps not harnessing the potential the students there have. having said that, i always think so therefore i sleep, and by sleeping i miss the rest of the lectures as well -.- yes the challenging and application parts. don't ever learn that from me coz i had to start from scratch. so i tell myself i need patience and humility, (again not being elitist), to be Christ-like as i move on to the next phases of my life.
one big thing i saw after leaving jc is that. wow the raffles stamp/brand can be quite biased. look at med and law schools, super lot of raffles and hwach.then i see the people, honestly, in school they are not the top (just my own opinion). the top like the smart asses go overseas but then subsequently those who reach the top (eventually hah after a levels), like with four a's, also become the top band in the country. and hence gaining access to the pretigious courses in singapore. cool eh, see the same people from a different perspective now. so then so many ppl get into law la, med la, double degrees, NBS, chem eng, overseas, like wow, standing at the airport with them before sending the DELTA guys to brunei, i wonder where everyone will be 20 years down the road. me and julia was just saying, if someone in this group falters along the road in 20 years, that person may face a lot of pressure when everyone meets up again isn't it? (ok i gotta say it, im not being elitist T.T, not assuming i be sucessful also) wad a rat race in life, a rat race that part of me wants to opt out from, coz its pretty tiring. but if i, or anyone for that matter, don't run in front of the pack, how can we make a difference in the world, or that is if we want to. my motto now is like "heroes", i am gonna change/save the world. simple, yet ambitious. i mentioned it to my superior at work, he was a bit cycnical about it, like how young people always want to do that but succumb to monetary benefits. i sincerly pray and hope i won't be coz i really wanna do something bout the world. then again my actions will be scrutinised upon but it'll be worth it.
church
been drifting away pretty much, dunno why also. yes i was called to serve, because i was given more time in army to do it. perhaps the ACCA classes are making me so tired to contribute more. my faith level dropped, but picking up now coz im doing vespers and lauds now, though not everyday. puts me in peace. then now mr. MARK ABRAHAM got me to also sit on district council so thats gonna be really heavy for me. though district council is just like an advisory board but still, it'll take time. having said that, i still share mark's vision about the district working together, just that the feasibility is a big question mark (no pun intended =)). but its good that LOG is moving forward i am v happy. purpose driven life! and theology of the body! its time we moved into deeper stuff and hopefully absorb fast enough to affect the people around us. i feel much especially for theology of the body, because really the world is stuck in a mentality of the rights to do wadever they want with their body, which is really creating a grim picture of the world right now. booze, sex, klub (ok bar this, not in excess its perfectly fine imho), just basically directionless life. perhaps being raised in singapore put this conservative mindset into me but i would say that religion had played a big part. and i thank the Lord for this. for me to be born into a catholic family and the chance to explore my own faith, knowing where i should go in life, and perhaps having a whole lot more time to sit down and think about life, which ppl now seldom have and do. yupps then still have the school group, jarrod pam adrian shaun james ivan felly michelle jeremy. they had been a great help, especially jarrod in making me really think hard about faith, wad a combination btw logic and faith - amazing! thank God for him =)
okayy i think enuff for this post liaoz, like super long update about my life. still got many things that happened though, some =) some =( but i'll save that for another time.
mark
now for a personal message so ignore me =)
hello i miss you! haha.
7:58 AM